The other night I woke up at 5 AM and my eyes were twitching. It felt like the room was shaking and spinning. I was terrified and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was going to throw up. I started crying and I texted my mom hoping she would say she would come down. She wanted to but I knew she had to work and I had tests to take. I couldn't fall asleep I just layed there for hours and decided not to go to my 9 AM class. However, I went anyways because I'm such a damn good student...AND the class was 20 minutes long and the most pointless class of my life. Ugh. My mom spoke to a nurse who said I should have went to the emergency room when i felt like that...but I didn't want to be a drama queen.
In 4 days I will be at the Cleveland Clinic, finally. I finally will hopefully have some answers. I miss mylife so much. I miss being able to go out. Sometimes I probably wouldn't even go out but I miss having the option to. Life has become so difficult with this. Sometimes I just cry because I hate it so much. I want someone to walk a day in my shoes just to understand how I feel. I know a lot of people probably think I'm full of shit, but I'm not. This is killing me, it's completely tearing me up inside. I hate it, I would do anything to make it go away. Sometimes I sleep just because when I do I'm not dizzy. Last night I had a dream that I got a job and I turned it down because I said I knew I couldn't stand that long. Now I even can't escape being dizzy in my dreams. The day I get better I will never ever ever ever ever ever take life for granted EVER again.
I have an appointment with a doctor in internal medicine, neurology, and cardiology, someone has to find something....I can't live like this much longer.
Time to study for my Political Science mid-term.
I got a 94 on my Theatre History midterm! woo!
I go home Wednesday night, I'm so excited.
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